Satire City, Korea – As if things weren’t bad enough with Russia waging war on Ukraine and China increasingly threatening Taiwan. North Korea (not content with playing third violin, I mean villain), has come out and declared war on Japan !! More specifically, the Sea of Japan.
Prompted by aggressive joint military maneuvers by the US and South Korea, the hermit state of North Korea in a show of strength and defiance has begun a “ shock and awe” missile bombardment of the Sea of Japan.
For the past few days, projectiles capable of carrying deadly payloads of nuclear or biological weapons have been falling harmlessly into the waters all around Japan.
According to a North Korean official who didn’t need to give his name because all 26 million of them are named Park… “This time you American dogs have gone too far !!” He then pounded his little fist on a comically large red blinking button thereby launching another missile which went straight up and over Japan before crashing harmlessly into the sea. “That’ll teach you !!” He screamed while shaking his bruised little fist in the air.
According to Japanese Minister of Defense Fukiyomama and Deputy Defense Minister Yomamasofat, “The Republic of North Korea is welcome to shoot as many missiles as it wants into the Sea of Japan. As a matter of fact, we ‘double dog dare’ the North Koreans to fire their ENTIRE nuclear arsenal into the sea.”
When asked why the North Korean military is targeting water, Commanders Yosemite National and Central Park commented that they had no comment. General Yellowstone Park however admitted they were shooting into the water because the water won’t shoot back. Explaining, “We may be crazy, but we’re not stupid !”
He also conveyed a stark warning to the United States if the US continues to safeguard the freedom of over 51 million of their fellow Koreans South of the 38th parallel, “We will not stop at Japan, we will target our missiles on Alaska !! (the Gulf of Alaska), California !! (the Gulf of California) and (Lake) Michigan !!!
