Satire City, FL – The world watched in awe of the power, prowess and technological superiority of the United States as the Artemis space launch vehicle hurled astronauts toward the moon. Yet only moments after jettisoning their solid rocket boosters and heading into deep space, an urgent message crackled over the radio – Mayday, Mayday!! The toilet is stuffed up!!”
Suddenly the respect and admiration of the entire world was also sitting in that overflowing space toilet that wouldn’t flush.
Experts are calling it the biggest ‘loo snafu’ since the Russians sent a dog into space without a fire hydrant to relieve itself on.
Ground engineers are trying to find a solution to the problem. SETI changed their decades long mission of searching for intelligent life in the universe to searching for the nearest functioning toilet bowl in the universe.
NASA Mission Control Director initially issued the following instructions to the crew. It’s only a 9-day mission, just hold it in.” Though acknowledged after a few conversations with the hyperventilating, cross legged, butt clenching astronauts who threatened to change the spacecraft’s destination from the moon to ‘the nearest bathroom’ that drastic action would be necessary.
According to Mission Specialist Anita John, “It’s hard to go to the moon when Uranus is screaming for relief.”
At one point the desperate astronauts were banging on the porthole windows trying to get the attention of Space X’s “Star man” (who was cruising by in his Tesla roadster) to see if he happened to have a plunger.
In order to get some kind of relief, Mission Specialists briefly considered cutting a butt-sized hole in the floor of the space craft but abandoned this plan for fear of introducing too many Ass-teroids into our solar system.
Putting a positive spin on the situation, Mission Control finally issued this statement. “Our astronauts have been given a unique opportunity to go where no human has gone before, in their pants 238,000 miles above the earth.”
