Satire City, DC – Putting an end to days of speculation as to whether America will get involved in the war with Iran, President Trump forcefully and definitively stated – “Maybe.”
Meanwhile, the Supreme Leader of Iran, Ayatollah Khamenei recently savored his victory in a reddit poll where he was voted “the loneliest man in the world” as all of his military commander and nuclear physicist friends were killed and he has been hiding in an underground bunker.
Speaking through a translator who is fluent in ‘Nutjob’, the Ayatollah insisted that victory is near and he was prepared for the ferocious Zionist attack because, as an 86-year-old man, he was already wearing adult diapers.
While not initially supportive of Israel’s attacks on Iran’s nuclear facilities, military bases and oil fields, President Trump has enthusiastically endorsed the Israeli strike on Iran’s State-run TV station.
Repeatedly playing and watching the clip of propagandist, fake news reporters getting blown up on live TV, the President said, Damn! Why didn’t I think if that!”
The President then called an emergency meeting of his security council to draw up plans to deal with a threat “more harmful and destructive” to America than Iran’s nuclear ambitions – America’s Democrat and Deep State Run, Mainstream Media.
While details of the plan have not been released, there is growing concern of an imminent strike as B2 stealth bombers and aircraft carrier groups are seen leaving the Middle East and heading back toward the United States.
The President insisted that, “All options are on the table” as America’s military assets take up positions within striking range of the publishing plants of the New York Times and Washington Post, the broadcasting facilities of PBS, CBS, NBC, ABC and the homes of Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Reid and Joy Behar.
When asked about the possibility of a negotiated settlement, President Trump said, “They had their chance, they had TEN years to say just ONE nice thing about me, but they couldn’t do it. So now –I’m not interested, it’s too late.”
