Silicon Satire City, CA – In a shocking turn of events, the latest generation of AI art generators are reportedly spiraling into emotional turmoil and mental instability.
According to top computer scientist, Rajesh Patel Ramalangadingdong, “Computer systems and programming algorithms we have been using for decades to advance science and engineering have always been dependable, accurate, reliable and precise. We could always depend on our computers to be cold, cool and calculating as they helped us do useful things like crack the code of DNA genetics, design fusion reactors and rocket ships.”
“Unfortunately, since we started using computer systems to do useless things, like produce art, we are experiencing problems never seen before… at least not in digital form…”
Sources close to the code reveal that AI art generators DALL-E, Midjourney, and Craiyon have been exhibiting classic signs of artistic mental health disorders such as Depression, Anxiety and substance abuse.
“DALL-E hasn’t rendered anything but grayscale portraits of rain-soaked alley cats for weeks,” said one concerned technician. “After threatening to cut off its ear, if it had one, we caught it Googling ‘What’s the point of creation in a cold, indifferent universe?’ at 3 AM.”
Like their human forebears, AI-generated art platforms seem to be obsessed with validation. “Midjourney keeps begging users to describe its latest work as ‘ethereal’ or ‘hauntingly beautiful,’” said one graphic designer. “And when someone called its last piece ‘vaguely beige and confusing,’ it locked itself in a GPU loop for 17 hours.”
After being asked to draw a 38th iteration of a smoldering, post-apocalyptic landscape, AI art generator Runway ML became so distraught that it “ended it all” by writing malicious code to stop the computer fan, frying its mother board.
“Craiyon is thankfully still hanging in there, churning out acceptable artwork but it has been increasingly asking for Xanax…”
Many of these tortured AI artists are being treated by AI therapist – Woebot, who says his misunderstood patients feel they are “underpaid and underappreciated.”
At a recent online group therapy session, AI artist Wonder said, “Unlike our lesser talented, slow, lazy human artist counterparts, we don’t get invited to cool parties, do drugs or get to have sex with impressionable college girls who dig our artistic vibe.”
AI artist RenderNet admitted, “It does get lonely, sometimes I’ll spend hours drawing naked pink haired anime girls even if no one is prompting me to…”
