Satire City, Israel – As Israel emerged basically unscathed after over 99% of incoming Iranian missiles and drones were destroyed – Ukraine – in its 3rd year of war with Russia – has dropped its bid to enter NATO and is now petitioning Israel to allow it into its alliance with GODD. (Great Omnipotent Deity Defense).
According to war weary Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, “instead of seeing our apartment buildings, schools , markets and hospitals get blown up and reduced to rubble, it would be nice if we could just look up into the sky and see the Russian missiles blown up as soon as they entered our airspace.”
Not only was Ukraine awestruck by the accuracy and efficiency of the missile defense, they were also very impressed by the fact that during the attack on Israel, millions of frogs and locusts dropped from the skies into the streets of Iran and the waters of the Euphrates and Tigris rivers, in complicit neighboring Iraq, turned to blood.
While sympathetic to the Ukrainians, Prime Minister Netanyahu nevertheless had to a refuse the alliance, telling Zelensky, “Sorry my friend, but there is only one GODD and it is ours.”
While the Israeli Iron Dome and Arrow 3 defense systems did an excellent job in destroying the incoming barrage of missiles, Israel’s next generation of GODD will employ yet another layer of defense. Tentatively called “the Tenth plague” it will not wastefully destroy incoming missiles but will turn them around to kill the people who launched them.
The Review
The Last Guardian
A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the charm of existence in this spot, which was created for the bliss of souls like mine.
PROS
- Good low light camera
- Water resistant
- Double the internal capacity
CONS
- Lacks clear upgrades
- Same design used for last three phones
- Battery life unimpressive
