Welcome to Napalm News.
We publish satire. You post comments. Let’s all behave like semi-functional adults.
By accessing or using this site, you agree to the following terms:
1. Satire Notice
Napalm News is a satirical publication.
All articles are fictional and intended for parody, humor, and commentary.
Nothing on this site should be interpreted as factual reporting.
2. User-Generated Content
Comments, posts, and submissions (“User Content”) are created by users, not Napalm News.
We do not endorse or guarantee the accuracy of any User Content.
You are solely responsible for what you post.
Not us. You.
3. License to Display
By posting content, you grant Napalm News a worldwide, royalty-free license to display, reproduce, and distribute your content on the site.
4. Prohibited Content
You agree NOT to post:
- Defamation or false accusations about real private individuals
- Threats, harassment, or incitement of violence
- Hate speech
- Doxxing or personal information
- Copyrighted material you don’t own
- Spam, scams, or bots
- Illegal content
- Anything that could reasonably get someone sued or arrested
Roast ideas. Not random civilians.
5. Moderation Rights
We reserve the right to:
- remove content
- edit formatting
- lock threads
- suspend or ban users
- or delete anything for any reason
We are not obligated to explain ourselves.
This is our house.
6. No Liability for User Content
Napalm News is not responsible for User Content posted by others.
Opinions expressed in comments belong solely to the person who posted them.
If someone says something dumb, that’s between you and them.
7. Indemnification
You agree to indemnify and hold harmless Napalm News and its owners, editors, and affiliates from any claims, damages, or legal expenses arising from your content or violation of these terms.
If your comment causes a lawsuit, that’s your problem — not ours.
8. Termination
We may suspend or terminate access at any time without notice.
Chaos is temporary. Bans are forever.
9. Acceptance
By using this site or posting comments, you agree to these Terms.
