Satire City, DC – As the Ayatollah’s terrorist regime in Iran was slaughtering tens of thousands of freedom seeking Iranians.
As the streets of Iran were turning red with the blood of these brave Iranian freedom fighters who were waiting for the help and salvation that President Trump had promised them.
As President Trump was just about to unleash the might and fury of the American military on the Ayatollah, liberate millions of Iranians, and rid the world of the #1 state sponsor of terror… uh, something more important came up.
Trump received notice that he would, once again, be denied the Nobel Peace Prize.
In a rage, he ordered all B2 stealth bombers and aircraft carrier attack groups to immediately abandon their positions in the Middle East, switch their nuclear warheads to the “on” position and head to the North Sea.
Then in a hastily written Truth Social post the President bellowed,
“I have done more for world peace than Alfred Nobel, all the previous peace prize winners and every damn dove that has ever existed in the history of the world combined !! Give me the Nobel Peace Prize!! Now!! Today !! Or else !!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
In response , the Norwegian government issued an uncharacteristically undiplomatic statement. “It doesn’t work that way”, and told reporters that they are determined to put up “more resistance to Trump” than they did to the Nazis.
Following the lead of last year’s peace prize winner, numerous other previous Nobel prize recipients have been clamoring to hand over their prizes in an attempt to placate the President and avoid the creation of a Scandinavia sized, glowing crater.
Einstein’s grandson dug through boxes in his attic and handed the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics to Trump. In a selfless act of sacrifice, Caitlyn Jenner gifted Trump with the Olympic gold medal that Bruce won.
Even the members of Girl Scout Troop #687 from Cedar Rapids, Iowa sent a box full of all their awards and merit badges to the President.
But despite the fact that HIS prize would be the most effective in saving the world from nuclear annihilation, former President Barack Obama tightly clutched his Nobel peace trophy which he evidently won for killing 42 people while bombing a hospital in Afghanistan which was run by another Nobel peace prize recipient -Doctors without Borders.
Check back… this is a developing story.
