Satire City, DC – The controversy regarding mass illegal immigration into the US continues with Republicans saying it is a full-on disaster (until they need someone to do their yard work or dishes) and Democrats (who evidently have allowed Miley Cyrus to set their immigration policy) saying, “Everything is going to be okay – Heyyyyyaayyyaayyyaa, there’s a party in the USA!”
Some right wing, wacko conspiracy theorists have accused the Democrats (who have set up voter registration booths at the border) of having an ulterior motive of allowing illegal immigrants to vote in upcoming elections.
In order to preserve the integrity of the elections, House Republicans have passed the SAVE (Safeguard American Voter Eligibility) Act which would have prevented illegal aliens from voting in November but this legislation was promptly killed by Senate Democrats committed to their policy of being Commielovers Harvesting Every vote Against Trump (CHEAT).
According to the Senate Majority leader Schmuck Chumer, “It’s already illegal for non-citizens to vote. We don’t need someone to prove they are a citizen before they vote.”
“OK Senator, according to your logic, it’s already illegal to bring a gun on an airplane. We shouldn’t need to make people walk through a metal detector to prove they don’t have a gun before they get on an airplane.”
“Yes, exactly!”
“You know Senator, though ‘technically’ not allowed to vote, 2/3 of the noncitizens who mysteriously, somehow DO vote, vote for Democrats.”
“Yes of course I know that. Everyone knows that! Why do you think the borders are wide open?”
According to Democratic strategist, aging hippie and cannabis aficionado, Bernette Downes, “It’s obvious that no American in their right mind is going to vote for Joe Biden. That’s why we are going to need as many non-Americans to vote as possible.”
“But non-citizens voting is illegal.”
“Technically illegal.”
“No, literally illegal”.
“Yeah, yeah, littering is illegal but look at the filthy streets. Point is the election process is perfect as it is. Voters don’t have to prove they are a citizen or prove they are alive.”
Meanwhile concerns about Joe Biden’s health are mounting as it’s been discovered that a Parkinson’s doctor has visited the White House 8 times in the past few months. More concerning is the fact that the night before the disastrous debate against Trump – a Catholic priest, a mortician, a voodoo priestess and a taxidermist visited the White House.
